Notes for Networking with Authenticity
I often come across people–friends, peers, colleagues–who struggle with finding the “right” way to reach out to someone. I myself have wasted plenty of time writing and rewriting…and rewriting email drafts until I’m certain I’ve struck the appropriate balance between sounding assertive and personable. The question always seems to be, how do I reach out to a potential connection in a way that feels organic and avoids giving the impression that I’m only interested in a job opportunity?
This might be one of the biggest deterrents from serial networking out there. At times, it seems like a double-edged sword–on the one hand, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. On the other hand, if you proceed too bluntly, you may inadvertently repel opportunities by seeming entitled to a certain degree. This fear of projecting entitlement in front of someone whose professional endorsement you seek is quite common and incredibly influential. The last thing you want to do is make the other person feel like a mere means for a transaction, like you don’t value them as a person, but rather their position in the industry hierarchy.
If you listened to our Hiring Insights podcast, you might remember our recent conversation with Michelle Comella, the Global Director of Career Services at McDermott Will & Emery. An experienced executive career coach herself, Michelle’s astute grasp of organizational communication skills led her to offer a savvy piece of advice for navigating the cold message networking approach. Put simply, the phrase (or some iteration of it) “I’m contemplating the idea of a career in [blank]” should appear somewhere in your initial conversation.
The key here is to be honest and specific about your needs without sounding like you expect a grand gesture. Try framing your inquiry in the form of an open-ended question, emphasizing that you’re looking for advice, industry insights, or just to get a feel for the experience from someone on the inside. An example statement in an introductory correspondence might look like this:
“I am contemplating the idea of a career in [blank] industry. Given your demonstrated expertise at [blank] company, I would really appreciate the chance to learn from you about [list two or three specific practice areas or industry trends]. Would you be willing to have a conversation with me about the factors that shaped your experience?”
If you are reaching out to someone you already know for more specific advice, you could alternatively take the following route:
“I am contemplating the idea of a career in [blank] industry more seriously. If, during my job search, I find myself face with the decision to pursue a certain opportunity, would you be willing to offer your mentorship/act as a reference/talk through that decision with me?”
This is a polite yet determined way to get your intentions across without badmouthing your current or previous employment situation, all the while expressing your appreciation for the receiver’s time and knowledge.
One other pro tip for networking in a way that is genuine and deliberate: avoid broadcasting relatively vague requests to your entire network hoping at least one person will respond. People want to help you, especially if you’ve proven yourself to be of value in a previous role or relationship. If you expect them to give you one-on-one attention, the least you could do is personalize your initial message, supplementing your inquiry with surface-level research about the person or their company’s recent activity. Keep it simple, authentic, and appreciative.
After all, what do 99% of people care about most in their day-to-day? Their time. That being said, getting straight to the point will be the most proactive route for everyone. Don’t beat around the bush. Give the person a concrete assignment:
“Hi again, we worked together about two years ago doing [project] at [company]. Your perpetual strength in [practice area/skill] remains an influential memory since our paths diverged. Would you be willing to take a quick look at my resume? I would appreciate your opinion on my description of the work we did.”
It will be easier for your recipient to provide an answer, and you will slowly start to implement this concise mindset into your general style of communication. The recipient may even feel complimented by your effort to prioritize their time.
